How to NOT let OLD TOXIC relationships into your NEW one

Toxic relationships are super hard to deal with when you're in them, but it's also super hard to deal with the repercussions of these toxic relationships.

SO how do we deal with them? And how do we not bring them into new relationships? 

To start, we all carry baggage. Baggage is a term commonly used to describe the emotional sh*t we take with us wherever we go. It holds us back and drags us down, and it drags our loved ones down too.

In the podcast I equated "baggage" to a backpack full of rocks. (jump to 2:20) the rocks are our past traumas and the more rocks we have the heavier it gets. (Because emotional baggage is VERY heavy)

When we get out of an old relationship we pack up all of our rocks hunker down and say "ON TO THE NEXT ONE" so when we come along our next relationship we hand over our giant bag of rocks and say "here you go, good luck!"

And that's a funny visual, but in reality...it's not so funny. We expect our new partner to take on this heavy bag of rocks. Or we don't know how to get rid of the bag of rocks so we lean on our partner to help us figure out how to get rid of them. Rarely does that work...

We even start to BLAME our partner when our heavy baggage doesn't go away because we neglect to see what the common denominator is.

SPOILER ALERT- the common denominator is you.

So the question is... are we just transferring our pile of rocks into the next relationship or are we actively trying to diminish how many rocks we have?

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https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-mark-and-christine-show/

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https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-mark-and-christine-show/